Trying to slow down in Advent

Today, I had a revelation about being busy. Sometimes, maybe all the time, I take on tasks that take me away from reality. I actually already knew this fact about myself, and I've dealt with it in varying ways throughout my life. But today, I stopped and asked myself, "Is the busyness of my life reality, or is reality what I leave behind because I am too busy?"

Let me try to clarify. My father is dying. He has been bed-ridden for over nine months, and hospice has been helping my mother care for him for almost that long. He has lost weight and has reached the point where he is choosing not to eat. My mother thinks she should somehow be able to get him to eat, and she desperately wants to keep him alive. It is so sad watching this drama unfold--a drama that has reached its climax and is now waiting for the denouement.

My father and I love each other, but there were times when it was hard to feel loving toward him. First, I am a female, and I never really felt like I was the prize among the children. I was the only girl, and I played sports, but it was the boys who caught my father's attention when we were all young. Other factors came into play as well so that I was into my 40's before I came to terms with how his past had affected our relationship. Generationally, the family system is still being healed, but I hold out much hope for the future.

There are several other stressors in my life right now--major life challenges--and so what do I do? I take on more and more not really thinking that I'll hide from the reality, but certainly making it more difficult to face what I can think about tomorrow.

While staying home today with my daughter who is suffering from mono, I realized I can let some things go. I don't need to always be busy. I can just lie on the sofa and watch a movie with her. Sometimes it takes a little angel sitting on my shoulder to remind me that I just need to slow down, spend the money, and let someone else take care of things.

Maybe this lesson is one others can learn as well.