I, Jacob

A friend was talking with me about being wounded by life's events and how we carry those wounds all of our lives. I think Jacob is a Biblical character who exemplifies carrying the wound into wisdom.

I Jacob
deceiver of my father
cheater of my brother
ultimately more clever than my uncle
and yet afraid
afraid of the consequences
of retribution for the places where ambition took me
I dreamed of a ladder to heaven
where angels
were ascending and descending
and I was afraid

In the darkness on the Canaanite plain
I wrestled with God
my strength held for a while
and after all I had done
I dared to ask for a blessing
God sighed as if God felt enough were enough
and God changed my name

But
I will always
walk with a
limp

Barbara Crafton at St. James

Now that I have begun to wear reading glasses—or when I wear regular glasses which have bifocals—I understand much better the phrase “not seeing something right under one’s nose.” This lovely mixed metaphor (which should more accurately read “not smelling something right under one’s nose) indicates that something is RIGHT THERE in plain view. It’s a reminder that something one can’t find is actually there.

Lent has come upon us, once again, and perhaps we find ourselves reminded that we need God in a real and palpable way. Rainer Maria Rilke, a Bohemian-Austrian poet said,

That’s when I want you—
you knower of my emptiness,
you unspeaking partner to my sorrow—
that’s when I need you, God, like bread.

To experience God in a way that feeds our souls like bread feeds our bodies, we have to make the effort to connect to the divine spark in order to receive that nourishment. Lent is a time to take on the gentle disciplines of watching our “spiritual diet,” if you will permit me to stretch Rilke’s metaphor. In our parish at St. James, Fr. Geoff has suggested that each of us take on the “gentle discipline” of saying a single prayer together each morning and each evening. The church office printed cards for us to carry in our pockets with the prayers printed on them. Adding a mid-week service to our discipline or joining a book study is another way to feed our souls. Accepting the discipline of self-examination and perhaps speaking to a trusted friend about the sins that hinder our ability to love is yet another way to make that connection to the Divine.

On Saturday, March 20th, the Reverend Barbara Crafton will be at St. James to lead a Lenten quiet day. Barbara is an internationally known writer and preacher. She is also the author of The Almost Daily eMo, an emailed meditation that goes to the inboxes of those who sign up to receive it. Barbara’s website is http://geraniumfarm.org/home.cfm, and you can find many resources there to help you in your spiritual journey. Barbara says,

“If it’s true that everyone really has only one sermon, here is mine: Life is hard, but God is good. I have been thinking for some years about the emotional rhythm of human life — the normal rhythm of it, as well as the rhythm of its disturbance. My most recent book, Jesus Wept, deals with the manner in which the life of faith interacts, for good as well as for ill, with clinical depression. We will look back at our lives, the joys and sorrows of them, and come to terms with the presence of God in it all.”

I invite you to join The Saint James Center for Spiritual Development in experiencing this quiet day. We are RIGHT HERE for you to help you in your spiritual journey, to provide events and quiet days that nourish your soul and help you find the God that joins us in our struggles and successes. The schedule for the quiet day will be as follows:

8:30 Registration and continental breakfast
9:15 Welcome and first meditation
10:30 Reflection time
11:00 Second meditation
11:45 Noonday Prayer followed by lunch
1:00 Third meditation
1:45 Reflection time
2:30 Small group discussion
3:45 Eucharist

There is scholarship money to help if you are in need of assistance thanks to a generous member of St. James. The registration fee of $75 includes continental breakfast, lunch and a book written by Barbara. To register, pick up a registration form after any of the three services on Sunday from the table in the narthex. You may also download the registration form from the Center’s website: http://saintjamescenter.org/default.html.