The Cracked Jar

Then the woman left her water-jar and went back to the city. (John 4:28)


Thanks to feminist criticism, many more positive ideas have been espoused about the Samaritan woman than negative ones in recent years. For example, she is the first person to whom Jesus openly declares that he is Messiah (the anointed one). She, in turn, becomes a witness to his messianic mission saying to the people in the town, "Come and see...".

I try to imagine what life must have been like for her up to that momentous conversation with Jesus. Obviously, she was a bright woman, especially considering the times in which she lived. Thinking theologically was not difficult for her, and she was not above challenging Jesus and the Jewish attitude about the place of worship in the life of devout people. Yet, she was confined in her role, and castigated by those she lived around because she did not fit the model of a "good" woman. When she met Jesus, the jar of her soul cracked open; it could no longer contain her journey.*

In listening to Jesus, the Samaritan woman found something that stretched her to the very core of her being. She was moved to spread the news and share her discoveries with her community. She was broken open, and made ready to move beyond walking the expected path to walking a more arduous and perhaps more inward and more contemplative way.

Her life was turned around by an encounter at a well; at the well, her jar cracked open for it could no longer contain who she was. Her jar couldn't carry the rules and regulations of her society—the rules of proper behavior of a good Jewish woman. She was set free to become Christ just as the man who spoke to her at the well was Christ.

This weekend, I gave a retreat at The Snails Pace entitled Dreams: A Way to Listen to God based partly on the book of the same title by Morton Kelsey. God is as close to us as the dreams we dream each night. The women who attended the retreat openly shared their dreams, and we worked on understanding their meaning. For some of these women, the container of their God concept cracked open, and they were invited to leave that container at the Snail as they moved on to a deeper understanding of who God is in their lives.

I, too, had a dream that confirmed my new passion and focus in life. My dream focused on my past purpose of supporting and holding many people at events. In the past, I have enjoyed being helpful and providing opportunities for people to explore new spiritual experiences. At the same time, I disliked always having to be strong for other people; my persona, my mask, wore thin, and I now yearn to have the support of others in my journey in a way that is spontaneous and free and part of the community. I disliked being stuck in one place in my life and in my ministry, and I feared that I would fall apart from always being the supportive one. What I have desired, and what I am now actively seeking is to be left alone with some space around me to do some inner healing work and to begin to practice the next phase of my life.

I do know something of what that phase includes. It is obvious to me that I love working with small groups as a retreat leader and teacher. I enjoy the intimate circle of like-minded friends who want to explore their spirituality and relationship with the Holy One. I want to make opportunities for that to happen on a regular basis. I'd like to think the process of stability is occurring at the core of my being. Someday I'll be ready to pick up another jar to carry, but for now, I know the work I have to do.

May your journey contain pots that crack open and be left behind on the trail.
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*From a conversation with Jerry Wright